Little Oxford Nursery

 Social Development in Young Children

“Through others we become ourselves” 

Lev S. Vygotsky

Social development tends to take a backseat when parents talk about the overall development of their children. They are more concerned about their children’s physical, speech and language development and of course, their academic accomplishments. However, parents tend to ignore social development – a vital piece that underpins the holistic development of a child’s personality.

Children learn and discover many aspects about themselves when they interact with people around them. In the process, they make friends; learn about the differences that exist between individuals, and exchange views and opinions. They learn compassion, empathy and become emotionally intelligent. They learn to take turns, share personal belongings, indulge in cooperative play and reach amicable solutions to disputes and disagreements. They become more independent, less selfish, feel secure and appreciate their self and identity and ultimately develop self-esteem and respect for others.

Parents Make the Difference:

Speak out: Encourage young children to speak their mind out. Instead of showing aggression, getting frustrated or feeling low or angry, children should be taught to express their feelings. They should be encouraged to use words instead of actions.

Divert: There will be times that children may lose their cool, get angry and retaliate. In such situations, it’s important that you take them away from the scene, try to calm them down so that they do not hurt other children, and divert their attention. When calm, talk about the unacceptable behavior and that you understand his/her feelings but do not accept the behavior of physically assaulting others; communicate your displeasure and disapproval of the same. Teach them peaceful ways to resolve conflicts.

Apologize: Only after the child has realized the wrong done, ask him/her to apologize to the wronged child. Just verbal service may not bring about the desired change in behavior, but a little time spent on making him/her realize why the behavior is not acceptable, will go a long way in getting required results.

Walk the Talk: Speaking about good behavior is less effective unless it is modelled by your actions. Don’t just talk the talk but walk the talk. When you control your anger, your child gets to see your words of advice of patience and self-control in action. You become your child’s role model. They children learn through imitation and modeling.

Turn takings: They should be taught that when two are playing, each member gets a turn and the other member has to patiently wait for his turn to come. Thus, each member gets equal and a fair chance. Your child gets to practice patience, self-control and tolerance.

Role play and make-believe games: Young children love to indulge in imaginative play. It allows their curiosity and discovery to run wild; unboxes their possibilities to explore and encourages cognitive as well as social play. It tends to foster cooperative play, communication, problem-solving and more complex social ideas as they take on roles of their choice.

Play sessions: Arrange for play dates for your child with his preschool peers, friends, neighbouring children and with children from your extended family. This will help them to lead an active social life boosting their self-esteem and provide opportunities to make friends. Invite your child’s friends to your home; it gives your child a sense of delight as he/she takes pride in showing off his possessions, home and family to his friends. This does not mean that your house has to be sprawling, lavish and luxurious filled with expensive and latest gadgets and toys. A home is made of warm and loving people. Your child’s playmates actively influence your child’s thinking, attitudes and behavior. Your child will have a broader view of the world around them. They discover that there are many different values, opinions, and perspectives that they never knew from birth. They learn about new things such as games, trends, clothing, and toys as well as learn new vocabulary.

Sibling rivalry: Sibling rivalry takes root when your children compete with each other to gain your love, acknowledgement and approval. Although it is a phase of growing up, it is your response that decides if the behaviour stays on or fades away. If not addressed earlier on in life, it permeates from self to others and reflects in the child’s behavior and attitudes for a longtime. This in turn negatively affects your child’s self-esteem, social interactions and relationships. As a parent, you have to:

• treat your children equally, respect them for their uniqueness and fulfill their individual needs;
• avoid comparing children’s abilities and then praising one specific child in front of others;
• encourage your children to settle their own disagreements and disputes;
• set the rules of acceptable and unacceptable behavior and consequences of unacceptable behavior;
• discourage children from criticizing each other;
• anticipate forthcoming problems and devise solutions;
• encourage and compliment good behavior and nurture sense of familial ties;
• draw the line between bad behavior and your child – you dislike the unacceptable behavior and not your child - express your love and support your child to attain the desired behavior.

Last but not the least, you have to model and nurture healthy relationships and build robust communication channels within your family.

"A happy family raises a healthy body, mind and soul."